Monday, May 30, 2016

The Paradoxes of Our Lives - What We Want More Of, We Get Less

What we want more of, we get less.

As in, if someone wants more love or money, they will get less of it. Or even simply, if I want more of a sunrise, I will certainly get less of it. To get more, I should worry less about wanting more, and enjoy what's before me.

The quality of our wants seem to be associated with an element of - I want you so you better come to it. Else...
If I want more sunrise, I will get less of it!

Surely the idea is not to force anything to come to you. If anything, it would be to let it come to you by itself. To gently put its hands in yours and join you. That is what changes the quality of the experience. As opposed to sitting on a throne and wanting it to come like a slave. Driven by force, by guilt, by resentment, by subterfuge.

How to make the experience better then?

By changing the quality within us. Not of resentment, but love and wonder. So the love we have, ugly as it may be, is what we have. The money we have, less as it may be, is what we have. Can I change my relationship with it by putting my hand into its hand? By allowing it to hold me and feel supported enough to grow? My bet is this is a better approach then other extreme reactions.

We do the same thing with people smaller in size and power. Like children. Subordinates. People with less confidence. We treat them harshly and do not let them grow. But if we do treat them with love, at least till they grow confident, they will surprise us.

To want a lush garden then, nurture the saplings. We all have access to the saplings. If we can stop getting angry with them and resent them, and instead look kindly at them we could allow them space to grow. We could easily develop that quality that will let the small sapling grow, be it of love, money or anything else.

All we need to do is to do less. To be still and enjoy what's there. So we get more.

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